One big leap of faith everybody takes reading this blog is that I actually exist. It is presumed the things I say here are somehow based on truth (at least a little bit). I’ve only presented to you the set of pixels I’ve chosen to display. The internet is known for its blurry photography when it comes to identities, and if you peruse long enough, you will experience non-existent ballerinas, imaginary CIA agents and CEOs of companies that don’t show up in a Google search.
Over the time I’ve been writing these posts, I’ve tried to limit my personal information to that which would lend legitimacy to this site but have mostly kept the details of my so called life fairly close to the vest.
The things that I have presented as truth thus far are:
That I am a man.
That I am married.
That I have two kids.
That I live in the SF Bay Area.
But what if none of these were true? What if the picture of the man at the right side of the header is a phony, just like the photos I’ve included of myself in past posts? What if I’m really a 35 year-old parapalegic woman living in Arizona who decided that it would fun to be someone else?
The idea of misrepresenting yourself online is as old as the internet itself. There is no certification process inside the laptop box. It’s now commonplace to hear stories of men masquerading as women, women as men, stories of deaths and kidnappings culminating in a revelation that it’s all a fraud.
So how can you trust me?
I recently stumbled upon a blog—the blogger liked one of my posts and I checked out hers. It’s intriguing and well-written , packed with attitude, sexual bravado and a premise that seems ready for the big screen:
She is dating 52 men in 52 weeks.
I sent the Full Time Gangsta link to SR, and we discussed the possibility that it’s not genuine. As mentioned above, the possibility exists, at least in SR’s mind, that this might be a man representing himself as a very attractive woman. It may be a woman fantasizing about her apparent nuclear charisma and smoking hot body. It may be a teenage boy questioning his sexuality.
Or she might just be real.
I think she is. I think she’s a she. I think maybe she lives in a world I can’t imagine, even if it does really exist.
So, you tell me. Is she for real? Am I?
Or all we all just a lying pile of pixels?
And now, an Original Music Video by the Author!
bestbathroombooks 
I think there are some genuine people blogging about real experiences and there are quite a few that are exaggerating some of the details of their lives and others are taking on completely different personas. That saying ‘you can’t believe everything you read’ is especially true of stuff on the internet, whether it be blogs or product reviews or viral videos.
That being said, with online dating and Craigslist, it is quite possible to date 52 men or women in 52 weeks, especially if you reside in a large metro area and are fairly attractive. You could probably have sex with a different person every day of the week. It’s a brave new world.
See, I’m a woman, so I can agree with you completely. Guys are hitting on me all the time.
Hey Best Bathroom Books… I thought you said you were a man!!
I am absolutely for real, because I honestly couldn’t make up the shit that happens to me….
Nice! I will not question your existence anymore.
None of us are real. I am actually a German shepherd.
I knew it when you started chasing squirrels in your sleep.
Oh my god I love this!!!! Totally going to address this soon in a post. THANK YOU BEST BATHROOM BOOKS for the shout out ❤
You’re welcome. I hope you get a bump in your hits. You have a very intriquing blog, whether I’m a man or a woman.
I don’t believe anything is real except for Rick Santorum’s fantastic singing voice.
That’s hilarious as usual. He’s a woman, right? He cares about women’s, rights?
Hmm, well I clicked on the blog and followed, so I’m game. I look forward to catching up with it. But here’s more food for thought. Even if someone IS who they say they are, who’s to say the stories are true? We all embellish to an extent for the sake of the story, right? OK, well I don’t, but I haven’t gotten to some of my better stories yet. I’m waiting for family and close friends to stop checking in from time to time, haha.
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True Dat Szabo–
As a satirist, I mix truth with the ridiculous. So much true stuff is ridiculous, it makes for funny reading. But everyone polishes their stories for effect (at least I think they do). Most of the time I’m just trying to write the most ridiculous stuff I can come up with. If it’s funny and not true, I’m going with it.
Speaking as a Venezuelan Circus Dwarf who writes a WordPress blog under the assumed identity of a young and ruggedly handsome white guy who, when he sleeps, has dreams where he is a Gay North American Soap Star who is trapped in a straight guys body(he’s in Hollywood so he naturally assumes he’s gay, but in reality he is completely straight and attracted to women. It’s all because of a mind wiping program he received many years ago when he tried to join the Church of Scientology. Now, on the run from Scientologists, wanted for a murder that he did not commit and really, really late for his rehearsal on the set of the Soap he’s on, he decides to Fight Back!), I just want to say, great post as usual.
I totally heard an accent in your writing, but how can I look up to you when you’re shorter than I am and only think you’re gay?
I too wonder about some of the posts I’ve seen – then again, if I don’t have a sense of reality with them, I don’t return. On the other hand, this is the only post I’ve ever seen with comments from a German Shepherd and a vertically challenged Venezuelan working under the big top. Now that is about as close to witty as I can do … put my sarcasm is much better in person. Well done Les … or is it Leslie?
Thanks Frank. It’s a crazy cyber-world out there. And my name IS Leslie, but you can call me Les.
I don’t really get why 52 guys in 52 weeks is an accomplishment. A guy getting 52 girls, fine. But snagging men? That’s like going fishing in a- wait, there’s no easier thing to get, so this metaphor is dead.
Here’s a secret: You can have a guy any time you want and he’ll pay you too!
It sounds super easy! But any girl I’ve told is asking me “where on earth are you finding so many guys to go on dates with!??”
I like to maintain a certain standard, and finding guys to meet my high standards is extremely difficult.. And now I have created a bunch of guys who won’t stop contacting me.. It’s getting really exhausting and I’m only a month in!!!
I see…actually, I only see the fucking with peoples emotions as difficult, because the standards part…not really, assuming you live in a city, with more than 2 bars, that should be simple.
Those silly men, thinking theyre not just penis pawns in your ego building exercise. They should get over themselves.
I guess you just don’t know how it is with that thing hanging between your legs, Itchy. It’s really complicated, and that’s the difficult part–fending off the four guys from last month.
hello, bestbathroombooks,
i had a hunch you actually exist when i read your post with carrot and lollipop drawings, haha.^^ when you showed up on my site and left a comment, i decided that you really, truly exist.
hmmn, i suppose we all make claims, with some pads and trimmings here and there. i mean, am not 35. i belong to the and up, lols.^^ i guess as long as those bloggers with big claims can support the online image they’ve created, they’re fine.
was it joan didion who said that all writings are impositions? i suppose we tell our lies and our truths online and hope and pray that our readers or audience can tell them apart. or not?^^ 🙂
best regards and cheers! 🙂
I think we all believe in a certain amount of lies, especially about our existence. Otherwise, we’d just curl up and die.
Thanks for the comment!
Crap. Now how do I know that I exist?!?
thanks for the confusion.
That’s a good question Guap. Has this all been a giant El Guapo hoax?
I”m actually a 6-year-old kid who has found her way onto her parents’ laptop. But you already knew that.
At least you’ve got an accurate picture up.