Adamsdaughter recently wrote a great blog about Vajazzling. Now Penazzling, the male form of Vajazzling, is taking America by storm. For those of you who are living under a rock (or not living in NY or LA) here are the four basic styles of Penazzle. Remember, this is an evolving fashion trend that changes faster than Rhianna’s love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love for Chris Brown.
Since statistics prove all kinds of things no one would otherwise believe, I’ve listed some important ones below. These statistics are true, as is everything written at bestbathroombooks.
98.75% of heterosexual men are attracted to the vagina. (+/- 1.25% error)
Vajazzling makes about 100% of heterosexual men still attracted to the vagina.
83% of women think the penis is slightly uglier than the ass of a baboon.
Penazzling makes women 27% happier than when presented with a plain, un-Penazzled penis.
Penazzling makes women 93% happier when they are drunk.
Penazzling makes women 98.5% happier when they are totally hammered.
Penazzling dyes may cause impotence and shrink testicles in 57% of Penazzlers.
Angelina Jolie likes Brad Pitt’s penis Penazzled as The Plunger 40% of the time.
The Big Apple and the City of Angels have seen a recent 78% increase in Penazzling.
Big cities have 94% of the most important celebrity sex, thus the higher percentage of Penazzlers.
Zac Ephron Penazzles, thereby causing him to get laid 1000% more than he usually does, but he still thinks Demi Moore is creepy.
Penazzling has been hailed as one of the most important advancements in sexual relations, as almost 98% of women think the penis is now 2% less ugly than it was before Penazzling.
I hope you’ve learned something today and don’t act foolish when someone mentions Penazzling.
I still can’t understand why I’m not getting paid for this.