Adamsdaughter recently wrote a great blog about Vajazzling. Now Penazzling, the male form of Vajazzling, is taking America by storm. For those of you who are living under a rock (or not living in NY or LA) here are the four basic styles of Penazzle. Remember, this is an evolving fashion trend that changes faster than Rhianna’s love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love for Chris Brown.
Popular with Vegans, rabbits and people who liked the TV show “Roots”
Great around the Holidays but sometimes too sweet to finish
On the Good Ship your tongue may turn blue
I saw something almost exactly like this in the Louvre (bathroom).
Since statistics prove all kinds of things no one would otherwise believe, I’ve listed some important ones below. These statistics are true, as is everything written at bestbathroombooks.
98.75% of heterosexual men are attracted to the vagina. (+/- 1.25% error)
Vajazzling makes about 100% of heterosexual men still attracted to the vagina.
83% of women think the penis is slightly uglier than the ass of a baboon.
Ranks slightly cuter than penis
Penazzling makes women 27% happier than when presented with a plain, un-Penazzled penis.
Penazzling makes women 93% happier when they are drunk.
Penazzling makes women 98.5% happier when they are totally hammered.
Penazzling dyes may cause impotence and shrink testicles in 57% of Penazzlers.
Angelina Jolie likes Brad Pitt’s penis Penazzled as The Plunger 40% of the time.
I also like him to Penazzle like a Camel
The Big Apple and the City of Angels have seen a recent 78% increase in Penazzling.
Big cities have 94% of the most important celebrity sex, thus the higher percentage of Penazzlers.
Zac Ephron Penazzles, thereby causing him to get laid 1000% more than he usually does, but he still thinks Demi Moore is creepy.
Yes, I was questioning my sexuality when I was Photoshopping this.
Penazzling has been hailed as one of the most important advancements in sexual relations, as almost 98% of women think the penis is now 2% less ugly than it was before Penazzling.
I hope you’ve learned something today and don’t act foolish when someone mentions Penazzling.
I still can’t understand why I’m not getting paid for this.
And now, an Original Music Video from the Author!
bestbathroombooks 
I like when the man uses stick-on rhinestones. You know, friction, and all.
Actually, H.E. we tried that once but lost about $700 worth of Swarovski up there.
Must be hell when you hit airport security.
This is not the first time I wish I had a penis.
That’s funny because I’m constantly wishing I had vagina.
And when penazzling is combined with manscaping – oh, so hot!
Isn’t it great what we can do with our spare time and money (and pubic hair) when all our basic needs are met?
Been doing this for years, before someone even thought of a name for it even. The ones you posted are interesting, but the ladies seem to love the way I have mine. I call it the Top Gun, it’s an aircraft carrier complete with 2 jets that when prompted, take off into the air and begin to have a little battle.. It’s a much better design than my previous one, the Christopher Walken.
I guessed you were ahead of the curve on this one 96. What runs that thing by the way? Is it a small nuclear power plant? I find that fuel rods fit nicely into the urethra.
And yeah. Christopher Walken.
So 2011.
All I use are basic watch batteries that I took out of my old Fossil watches. Originally they were wind powered but the neighbors kept complaining about the noise(as did H.O.A., those guys are Nazis, how can they tell me what I can and can’t do in my own front yard?).
I’m working on a design now called The Magicians Code. It involves 2 lovely assistants(picked from the audience) a handkerchief and (when available) the Statue of Liberty. It’s taking some time to perfect but it’s gonna be awesome.
Also, that was an extremely fast response, good to know your on point.
Reblogged this on Thypolar's Life Uncensored and commented:
While I normally don’t make a habit of reblogging (never done it before) this post cracked my ass up. Considering the fact that it’s Monday and we could all use a good laugh, I thought I’d share 🙂
Thanks Thypolar. Got tons of pings over here.
As to your last line, Hasselhoff needs to be your spokespenis for this.
The money will just roll in.
I guess I’ll have to Hassle the Hoff.
I’m speachless.
I take that as a compliment Frank. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
When the penis is errect you could Penazzle it in white with “NASA” going up the side!
Wait. The penis gets erect?
Um, yeah, didn’t you draw those upside down?
I think we all need to just leave ourselves alone! Take a look at my new article “to have hair or be bare?” on my new blog thegradgrind!
I did. Good post. Keep it up!
*dies*
ha ha h ah ahaaaaa!!!!!
M.L.
I think I understand this comment.
Thanks for the pingback! 🙂 If I had a peen I would totally penazzle!
Thanks for mentioning the Vajazz. This has been my biggest post so far.
Go figure.
I once saw an informercial for the Bedazzler and thought, Gee, I guess I don’t really need rhinestones on my sweatpants, slippers and nursing pads, but this ad is so persuasive that I feel I must call that number and order it right now. When the Bedazzler arrives, I will get to work and have fun.
It’s like deja vu all over again.
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