Don’t Let your Sun Go Down on Me

I looked outside today.  It was a writer’s worst nightmare.

It was a beautiful day. 

The sun was shining.  Birds were chirping.  Bees were buzzing around and not stinging my penis (I often write naked).

When I first started this blog, I had a goal of writing a hundred posts.  To many of you out there, this is a laughably low number of articles.  My goal was to keep the writing on the subject of bathroom books, humor and the body, and promote my book—and in the process carve out a piece of the internet with www.bestbathroombooks.com  as the beneficiary.  Early on someone told me they liked my blog but the website sucked.  I agreed, and still have plans to upgrade it.  Thanks for your support.

I wanted the majority of the posts to be funny (unlike this one) and I wanted to make myself laugh.  I wrote lots of them in the tone of an A-hole, because I think condescension and indignation are funny, especially when the writer’s/speaker’s voice is unaware of what an A-hole he is.

I did not understand, at the outset, the culture of the blogosphere (or how to spell bloggoshpere).  I could not understand how people interacted and cared so much for virtual strangers.  Lots of things confuse me, like why people go to fast-food restaurants and eat triple cheeseburgers with bacon.

But then, I’m from California.

So, as I started writing and trying to make myself laugh, I collected followers.  I subscribed to a bunch of bloggers I thought were talented and still enjoy their writing and ideas.  I learned that the title of the blogpost is paramount, sex sells and that the subject matter is less important.  A little post that leaves plenty of room for feedback usually–but not always– trumps something longer, even if it’s better written.  People are busy, and eliciting a quick quip or punny reaction moves the delete button a little closer to cleaning out the ol’ email basket.

I didn’t understand at the beginning of all this that the culture is personal, and people like to hear and express their innermost feelings.  I made a vague commitment to NOT write and address blogging techniques, ask questions or solicit comments or write pieces that I thought couldn’t pretty much stand on their own as something to promote the business.
But I was working in the ‘sphere, and the culture is difficult to work in without making personal connections of some sort or other.  Despite my haranguing of bloggers and their insular lives, I actually—despite my commitment not to—ended up liking a lot of people (albeit, people who I still can’t bring myself to believe actually exist in any real sense of the word).

So now I’m up to 90 posts.  I have ten more to write, and the sun is shining outside.  My contractor son is hot to build or remodel.  My edu-political daughter’s air con is failing and we need to address that.  My wife has been patient through the process of this blog, but I know she’s looking forward to having my full attention and my eyeballs pried from the glowing screen.  She’s one of those gazelles who likes reality.

I absolutely believe there are amazingly talented people out there, and I will read and steal from you as much as I possibly can from now until my laptop breaks or I go back to Yosemite to live with the bears.

So, before your sun goes down on me, I’d like to thank everyone who was paying attention to any of these posts.  I have ten more to write, and I will make sure I use the words poop, penis, vagina and erections in most of them.  I might even throw in a hemorrhoid if you’re lucky.  Then, as my goal is finally reached, I can remember all the people who I knew in the WP World of Pixels, and maybe, someday, we will meet again in heaven, where all the real people live.

www.bestbathroombooks.com

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About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at www.bestbathroombooks.com. There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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15 Responses to Don’t Let your Sun Go Down on Me

  1. WONDERFUL post! I’m learning many of these lessons right now.
    I’m lucky that I live in Oregon where the weather is conducive to blogging 😉

  2. speaker7 says:

    Well, crap. No, it’s good, it is good that you want to look at real things and communicate with real people. But I will miss this blog. It’s one of my favorites. I will place a candle by my toilet bowl when you post your 100th.

    • Thanks, S7. My daughter and I will continue to read and discuss yours. I love your angle on things. Your style is unique in the ‘sphere–funny and biting. You have to have a brain to understand what you’re saying–which cuts out some of the larger audience.

  3. aFrankAngle says:

    Oh no … say it ain’t so … the sun sets sometime this summer. But I like Speaker7’s candle idea!

  4. Frank! You’ve got a great blog and a huge, open mind. Love your posts. Lighting a candle will be perfect in the bathroom for obvious reasons. Let me know when you’re in town and we’ll hit Capp’s Corner with our better halves in tow!

  5. Congrats on almost achieving your goal! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog (it is one of my favorites) and look forward to your next ten posts. Of course, then I’ll be sad that I won’t be reading your posts anymore.

    • Thanks Sandy. I didn’t anticipate the emotional investment of dong something like this. I still find it odd, but humans like to make connections, and I guess that makes me human!

  6. itchemeyer says:

    I think I’m pretty much burnt out of blogging too. I keep starting pieces and then losing interest. I used to write when I had something to say (ie pissed off or looking for more attention), and thought it would make a difference. It’s been a year since I started and since I don’t really know anyone who reads my blog, it feels like everything I’ve written hasn’t helped anyone one bit (least of all me).
    Your blog was one of the last I was still reading though, so it sucks that you’re not gonna be writing anymore. I’m looking forward to 10 more poops and erections.

    • Hey Itchy. I think your writing is great, even when I can’t understand the Yiddish/Hebrew words and references. Still great. You blog has been successful as far as I’m concerned. You’ve go a ton of hits. Most people read but don’t comment–I know I do that a lot. I look forward to your new blog. I’m going to try to knock out these last ten and do some other stuff. It was quite an experience!
      Shalom!

  7. Angie Z. says:

    Nooooo! I mean, yeeeeeees! I feel you, dawg. Lately I’ve been thinking of the same type of thing, except my milestone would be to hit July 1, when I started this blog. I love the writing part, I love bantering with hilarious bloggers, but it’s such work keeping up with the comment replies and reading. And you hit it on the head (not that one) when you said that a nice day outside is almost a curse to a blogger. It reminds me that you’re missing out on the real world.

    I’ll miss this blog. You are a modern day George Carlin. (I’m stealing that from Speaker7. I need to steal from her more often.) I can’t tell you how many times I say about something “this made me pee my pants” — but not “fart” or “poop my pants”. Why? Why not poop or fart? You are the one who made me question this. And what a beautiful thing.

  8. THAT is a left-handed but sincere compliment, and probably partly why I’m hanging up the bbb blog. How many poop jokes can I make? Anyway, it has been fun, and my wife’s been really cool, as she lets me reach my goals (like swimming Alcatraz), knowing I will eventually get it done and move on. I have a list of stuff to do writing and construction-wise, and I figure cutting out the ppop blog might help me get some of them done.
    I WILL truly miss you and S7 and a few others, but then you know I get confused about expending emotion on pixels. You are truly a talented writer and I’m sure I will read many of your words (and S7) again.
    So keep writing and I’ll listen for you on NPR!

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