How to Have Amazing Sex Every Day

People often come up to me on the street and say, “Wow!  You’re amazing! What’s your secret?”

Well, I’m going to tell you.  It’s really simpler than you think.  I have Amazing Sex Every Day!  Just heed these ten simple suggestions, and you too can be bothered on the street by annoying strangers for being amazing.

1)      Go into chat rooms and find someone on-line who has exactly the same sex drive as you and wants to have Amazing Sex Every Day.  Then arrange to fly to where they are and move in.

Check out this website. They have videos there.

2)      Advertise on Youtube by making a video of yourself while clearly stating your goals of Amazing Daily Sex.  (Try to look presentable—brush teeth, comb hair, etc.)

3)      Rent a room at your local Marriott and do a PowerPoint presentation showing in detail what part of your anatomy your dream partner should concentrate on to produce Amazing Sex.

NOTE: Use large font type and remember to bring a laser pointer.

It's like a phone tree except it's on the internet

4)      Use Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites to tell all your friends about your goal.  Help them help you.  You can’t reach your goal if you don’t shout it from the rooftops!

NOTE: Hey, it just occurred to me that you actually could shout it from the rooftops too if you want.

5)      Gather the family together and tell them what you expect out of your life.  Don’t let the naysayers and selfish people get you off track.


6)      Don’t forget to tell people at church functions and school picnics about your Amazing Daily Sex goal.  This way you’ll inspire others.

7)      Hire a hooker who knows your needs.

NOTE: This requires extra capital, so you may want to set up an appointment with your bank to talk about getting a loan.  Make sure you state your goal clearly to the loan officer.  (Use bullet points).

8)      Print tee shirts that explain your mission.  Remember to put your email address and phone number on the front and the back.

NOTE: Black lettering on a white tee shirt has the best contrast.  Also, make sure to center “I want Daily Amazing Sex” across your chest with the word “Sex” as close to your belt as possible.

9)      Campaign to get an interview on a local news station.  This is just free publicity for your cause.

NOTE: You can also do a funny video and it will go “viral”.

Don't forget to talk about yourself when detailing the kind of sex you want for yourself

10)   Write a blog about how you would like to have Amazing Sex Every Day.  Make sure to comment on other bloggers’ sites to get maximum traffic.

NOTE: Some bloggers are weird and not always truthful so make sure to study their “About” page.

Well, that’s it.  You are truly welcome! And remember that it’s disrespectful to refer to me as God, or a god.  I simply write a blog that changes people’s lives.  I’ll leave you with a quote from my mentor, Albert Einstein who said:

Amazing Sex Everyday is more important than Knowledge.

www.bestbathroombook.com

About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at www.bestbathroombooks.com. There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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39 Responses to How to Have Amazing Sex Every Day

  1. J-Dub says:

    What ever happened to Asian hookers. or am I just too old-fashioned?

  2. Oh my god that photo of Einstein is amazing!

    I want amazing sex. I don’t even need it every day. I’d settle for once a week.

  3. fulltimegangsta says:

    Hahahaha this is awesome! I wanna see your youtube video! It’d definitely go viral! You never fail to make me laugh.

  4. Elyse says:

    “ThEn knowledge.” Well played. Glad I wasn’t at work when you posted this. Please warn me before you post the video.

  5. GingerSnaap says:

    Now I know what I have been doing wrong all this time! Do you offer ‘Hands On’ seminars to compliment your blog post?

  6. Frank says:

    Now this could be the most useful post I’ve ever seen. Imagine if the Romney campaign adopted that as a slogan? … and was that Steve Garvey in the photo?

  7. I have amazing sex everyday though not always with another person. One of the advantages of amazing solo sex is I don’t have to shave my legs for the occasion.

  8. This is some life-changing stuff here. I got stuck on the image of the powerpoint presentation with the laser pointer. I can only imagine the Google searches that are going to land people to this page. 🙂

  9. Thanks for visiting. I always marvel at how the images we use (and Photoshop) end up in the Google images. I think that sh*t is funny! It seems like it lasts forever, but then, it’s 2012 so we only have a few more months to go.

  10. I just look in a mirror….and the rest takes care of itself.

  11. I was going to say that if I added a number eleven.

  12. sparklebumps says:

    Or, you know, you could just have sex with me if you want it to be amazing. But I’m only me, and I have a Rockstar to take care of, so take a number…

  13. joehoover says:

    Point 6…great! I’d only worry that the priest would get one up on you by bragging about his conquests.

  14. Angie Z. says:

    I think your life motivational stategies could put Tony Robbins out of business. Who wants to waste time being successful when there’s so much great sex to be had?

  15. El Guapo says:

    You left out the option of getting several mail order brides.

    What? I can’t be the only one that has done that

  16. You should write a book about that.

  17. speaker7 says:

    The chat room suggestion is the best because there’s a good chance you might meet someone from Perverted Justice and then be able to get a guest appearance on Dateline’s To Catch a Predator. And then you get to meet Chris Hansen in a random McMansion!

  18. lezile says:

    I’m not sure why, but the line that sticks with me is : (“Use bullet points”) And now I’m thinking about ice cubes….and Kim Basinger…and Mickey Rourke…and Amazing people like you who are having Amazing sex. God Bless America ((( : )

  19. whew! never thought there’s that side of Einstein. but then am naive, i am… this is a great post. why wasn’t this freshly pressed?;) hello, bestbathroombooks! 🙂

  20. Another bet placed on the WP Wheel of Fortune. Good luck!

  21. Pingback: Sunday Link Encyclopedia and Self-Promotion « Clarissa's Blog

  22. nyparrot says:

    LOL… How about developing a Webinar on this subject?

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