People often come up to me on the street and say, “Wow! You’re amazing! What’s your secret?”
Well, I’m going to tell you. It’s really simpler than you think. I have Amazing Sex Every Day! Just heed these ten simple suggestions, and you too can be bothered on the street by annoying strangers for being amazing.
1) Go into chat rooms and find someone on-line who has exactly the same sex drive as you and wants to have Amazing Sex Every Day. Then arrange to fly to where they are and move in.
2) Advertise on Youtube by making a video of yourself while clearly stating your goals of Amazing Daily Sex. (Try to look presentable—brush teeth, comb hair, etc.)
3) Rent a room at your local Marriott and do a PowerPoint presentation showing in detail what part of your anatomy your dream partner should concentrate on to produce Amazing Sex.
NOTE: Use large font type and remember to bring a laser pointer.
4) Use Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites to tell all your friends about your goal. Help them help you. You can’t reach your goal if you don’t shout it from the rooftops!
NOTE: Hey, it just occurred to me that you actually could shout it from the rooftops too if you want.
5) Gather the family together and tell them what you expect out of your life. Don’t let the naysayers and selfish people get you off track.
6) Don’t forget to tell people at church functions and school picnics about your Amazing Daily Sex goal. This way you’ll inspire others.
7) Hire a hooker who knows your needs.
NOTE: This requires extra capital, so you may want to set up an appointment with your bank to talk about getting a loan. Make sure you state your goal clearly to the loan officer. (Use bullet points).
8) Print tee shirts that explain your mission. Remember to put your email address and phone number on the front and the back.
NOTE: Black lettering on a white tee shirt has the best contrast. Also, make sure to center “I want Daily Amazing Sex” across your chest with the word “Sex” as close to your belt as possible.
9) Campaign to get an interview on a local news station. This is just free publicity for your cause.
NOTE: You can also do a funny video and it will go “viral”.
10) Write a blog about how you would like to have Amazing Sex Every Day. Make sure to comment on other bloggers’ sites to get maximum traffic.
NOTE: Some bloggers are weird and not always truthful so make sure to study their “About” page.
Well, that’s it. You are truly welcome! And remember that it’s disrespectful to refer to me as God, or a god. I simply write a blog that changes people’s lives. I’ll leave you with a quote from my mentor, Albert Einstein who said:
Amazing Sex Everyday is more important than Knowledge.