Let’s Give Hitler a Break

I saw Hitler again today.  Not the Hitler, but a Hitler.  I guess I’m a little sensitive about this, and I’m not sure why.  I think it has something to do with the fact that my father was captured by the Germans and held in a prison camp. 

He’s Jewish.

Hitler did a lot of horrible things.  He made lampshades out of the skin of my relatives.  He killed people in gas chambers and buried them in giant ditches.  His soldiers cut live babies out of the bellies of pregnant women.  He was responsible for the deaths of millions upon millions of people. 

He was more than just a giant asshole.

Lately, I’ve seen people setting up street corner protests with a picture of Obama.  They depict him as Hitler.  Unfortunately, I did not have my video camera with me.   I would like to  speak to these people on camera to help clarify this brainless analogy.

Let’s take a quick sampling of Hitlermania.

Nope

Sarah Palin is a frustrated beauty pageant reject who has difficulty putting together words or thinking in a coherent way.  She’s about a quarter as articulate as either of my kids were when they were eight.  But guess what?  Not Hitler.

Nope

Newt Gingrich is a pudgy, egotistical serial adulterer who makes outrageous statements because otherwise no one will listen.  He condescends to everyone because he believes he’s a genius.  If you catalogued all the incorrect statements and predictions he’s made in the last year alone, you’d have a book almost as wide as his pasty-white ass.  Not Hitler.

Nope

Dick Cheney is a weak, barely-breathing (seriously, is he still alive?) arm-chair hawk who is more than willing to commit the lives of young men and women to war as a means of proving his patriotism and manliness at the expense of our country.  He could not survive the water-boarding he endorses.  If he survives his heart transplant, he’ll get a standing ovation at the Republican Convention.

But he’s not Hitler.

Nope

Mitt Romney is a Mormon CEO who wrote the book on political expediency.  He never met a position he didn’t like.  He likes what you like and is just like you, except he’s worth $175 million.

He’s not Hitler.

Nope

Rick Santorum wants to make pornography, gay unions, sodomy, abortion, contraceptives, Darwinism, climate-change funding and a bunch of other stuff illegal, but mostly wants to make sure government doesn’t encroach on your freedoms.

He’s not Hitler.

Nope

Former President George W. Bush presided over the US for 8 years as a confirmed big spender credited with starting two wars.  He is known for making up words and making the people around him seem more smarter.  Not Hitler.

Nope

Hillary Clinton: Not Hilter

This Dog: Not Hitler

Maybe

This Baby:  I don’t know if this is Hitler or not.  I do appreciate the parents letting us know that we should keep an eye on this child, and also that they are possibly the best, most responsible parents ever.

Imposter

This Baby: Not Hitler

Too sleepy. Hitler was on meth

This Baby: Not Hitler

Nope. Hitler’s tie was a Windsor

This Baby: Not Hitler

I hope everyone understands that Hitler is in a class by himself, and all these comparisons are examples of people with a Magic Marker trying to associate an annoying or dangerous or evil person (or adorable baby) with someone who would make a lampshade out of all of them.

I urge anyone who sees someone protesting with a photo of Obama (or any other political figure for that matter) to please fire up the video camera, ask them if they’ve been to Auschwitz, and then post their answer. 

2/26/2013-I just did my first interview pertaining to this very subject.  These two geniuses didn’t give Hitler a break, although the guy wanted to break my nose.




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About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at www.bestbathroombooks.com. There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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19 Responses to Let’s Give Hitler a Break

  1. I must confess that I’ve used the term, “My boss was like Hitler.” But you’re right, despite her being the most psychotic person that I have ever come into contact with, she isn’t even close.

    I pledge to give Hitler a break.

  2. Thanks, and it’s okay. I’m obviously a proponent of Freedom of Speech. At least you didn’t get out a felt pen and color her office photo (did you?).

  3. I love your descriptions of said ‘politicians’ – so spot on!

  4. edrevets says:

    Hitler is such a busy man for being dead. He certainly does need a break, and people who are attempting political insults need a chance to exercise more creativity when there is such a fount of material. Seriously. In this election year full of whackos, is this the best we can do?

  5. aFrankAngle says:

    Simply a powerful post!

  6. speaker7 says:

    I love this post so much I want to erase the Hitler mustache I drew on a picture of some random guy in the newspaper who said something I didn’t like. Your description of Newt Gingrich should be use in every biographical entry on Newt Gingrich because it is beyond perfection.

  7. Angie Z. says:

    Just an awesome post in every way. It sickens me whenever I hear this Nazi comparison made. And communism, too. Can you say “fear mongering”?

    Here is an editorial by one of my favorite columnists, Leonard Pitts, Jr. I read it ages ago but I still think back on it often. You might appreciate it: http://www.journal-news.com/opinion/columnists/leonard-pitts-nazi-comparisons-are-an-insult-to-the-6-million-who-died-259944.html

  8. Elyse says:

    Brilliant piece, Les.

    Can we send it to the news stations?

  9. Great link, Angie. That guy definitely mirrors what I was saying (only he uses words more and pics less).

  10. My adoptive mother was first generation German, born in 1920. Her parents came to the US in the earlier part of the twentieth century but left a large extended family in Germany. When I was growing up we lived in Germany for 3 years, we visited East Berlin and many of the camps which were by then ‘tourist’ sites. We older members of her family, some who had been in the German Army and some who had been in the Resistance. It was very strange.

    When I met my biological family, I met my Grandfather who was my adopted mothers age, actually a bit younger. He was from Croatia and had escaped ahead of the ethnic cleansing with one cousin, he was Romany.

    I tell all this because I have heard so many first hand stories. I am always made uncomfortable by references to Hitler and the Nazis.

    Another good post.

    • Thanks Valentine. Very interesting stuff about your family and upbringing. I’m one to throw stones and cast aspersions… but at least I try to be accurate (or funny). Playing the Hitler card is generally a move by people too lazy to formuate a good argument.

  11. There is a house in Wales that looks like Hitler. Great post.

  12. Pingback: How Racist is this? | bestbathroombooks

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