I know you don’t have much time. But they’re out there. And I’ve got the Fotos to prove it.
NOTE: This is Foto Friday, where I spell photo with an “F”. I do not know why.
The first thing you have to do is see the clues. Since I have photographic proof which will be shown at the end of the blog along with an airtight argument as to the existence of aliens, I will get right to work. Everything I say here is classified, which is to say, anybody that clicks on this blog can read it.
Here’s where it starts:
Have you ever wondered about this? Have you ever said to yourself “What’s so special about the K?” Well my friend, you’re on the right track. The answer is corn. Yes, this is the where and the why of crop circles. And also K is the 11th letter of the alphabet (it’s getting more special now, isn’t it?) In the 11th century, the Catholic Church removed the 11th commandment, making it an even 10*.
* It says something about aliens in ancient Hebrew script. It definitely looks alien.
Okay, maybe you’re still a little skeptical. I understand, but the proof is out there. And I took a picture of it.
To the casual, untrained eye, this looks like a guy on the freeway (I’m sorry if it’s kind of blurry but that’s how most of these pictures of aliens are, plus I was driving). You will notice that his door says Bodywork and Massage by Don. Yet, if you look closely at his pickup truck, you will notice he has a rack with a ladder attached. Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious?
That’s right. He has a ladder to give massages to giant aliens.
Still skeptical? Okay, we’re almost to the undeniable photographic proof of aliens.
Have you ever seen this man before? Would you have an affair with him? Would you take off your clothes and rub yourself against his blubbery hairy stomach and touch his incredibly small penis?
No, you would not. But at least three women have. If this is not proof that aliens exist and have some kind of power over humans to get them to touch their incredibly small penises, I don’t know what is. But this is not the final link.
Okay, you say, I’m pretty convinced. You’ve laid out one hell of an argument here. I understand how you have connected all the dots, starting with Special K and ending with Newt Gingrich’s ultra-small penis. But where is the photo that ends all doubt of the proof of aliens?
Here it is! (Please click to enlarge for further examination).
I was driving in Kensington (just North of Berkeley) when I saw this. It frightened me so much that I took out my camera, hoping it wouldn’t explode in my trembling hands.
Yes, you are seeing something that CANNOT be explained. This sign has a crocheted tube sock on it, something that only aliens would do—because the pole was chilly and the aliens knew it. I got out of the car and I examined the crocheted tube sock. THIS IS REAL PEOPLE. AN ALIEN CROCHETED A TUBE SOCK ONTO THE SIGN.
It could not have been placed on the pole in any way other than someone actually sewing it on. I think we can all agree that no human would do something like this.
I would like to thank everyone at the world wide internet for helping to spread the word about aliens. Keeping the netwaves truthful is what Foto Friday is all about.
SMALL TRUE NOTE: I almost met Newt Gingrich when I visited DC with my wife several years ago. He was shooting a video in front of the Lincoln Monument and a mannequin was perched near him. I later found out it was his third wife. Everyone was walking up to him to take their picture with him. I did not have my camera, something I believe was due to his alien power. Since I didn’t have my camera, I felt it would be stupid to stand next to him and pose for nothing. It was something I regretted for seven seconds, and then we went and got some pizza.