Foto Friday-Proof of Aliens!

The Truth is Out Here Somewhere in This Vicinity I Think

I know you don’t have much time.   But they’re out there.  And I’ve got the Fotos to prove it.

NOTE: This is Foto Friday, where I spell photo with an “F”.  I do not know why.

The first thing you have to do is see the clues.  Since I have photographic proof which will be shown at the end of the blog along with an airtight argument as to the existence of aliens, I will get right to work.  Everything I say here is classified, which is to say, anybody that clicks on this blog can read it.

Here’s where it starts:

Have you ever wondered about this?  Have you ever said to yourself “What’s so special about the K?”  Well my friend, you’re on the right track.  The answer is corn.  Yes, this is the where and the why of crop circles.  And also K is the 11th letter of the alphabet (it’s getting more special now, isn’t it?)  In the 11th century, the Catholic Church removed the 11th commandment, making it an even 10*.

* It says something about aliens in ancient Hebrew script.  It definitely looks alien.

Okay, maybe you’re still a little skeptical.  I understand, but the proof is out there.  And I took a picture of it.

To the casual, untrained eye, this looks like a guy on the freeway (I’m sorry if it’s kind of blurry but that’s how most of these pictures of aliens are, plus I was driving).  You will notice that his door says Bodywork and Massage by Don.  Yet, if you look closely at his pickup truck, you will notice he has a rack with a ladder attached.  Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious?

That’s right.  He has a ladder to give massages to giant aliens.

Giant Unnatural LIfe Forms that Need Ladder Massages

Still skeptical?  Okay, we’re almost to the undeniable photographic proof of aliens.

No human is this sexy

Have you ever seen this man before?  Would you have an affair with him?  Would you take off your clothes and rub yourself against his blubbery hairy stomach and touch his incredibly small penis?

No, you would not.  But at least three women have.  If this is not proof that aliens exist and have some kind of power over humans to get them to touch their incredibly small penises, I don’t know what is.  But this is not the final link.

Okay, you say, I’m pretty convinced.  You’ve laid out one hell of an argument here.  I understand how you have connected all the dots, starting with Special K and ending with Newt Gingrich’s ultra-small penis.  But where is the photo that ends all doubt of the proof of aliens?

Here it is! (Please click to enlarge for further examination).

I was driving in Kensington (just North of Berkeley) when I saw this.  It frightened me so much that I took out my camera, hoping it wouldn’t explode in my trembling hands.

Yes, you are seeing something that CANNOT be explained.  This sign has a crocheted tube sock on it, something that only aliens would do—because the pole was chilly and the aliens knew it.  I got out of the car and I examined the crocheted tube sock.  THIS IS REAL PEOPLE.  AN ALIEN CROCHETED A TUBE SOCK ONTO THE SIGN.

It could not have been placed on the pole in any way other than someone actually sewing it on.  I think we can all agree that no human would do something like this. 

I would like to thank everyone at the world wide internet for helping to spread the word about aliens.  Keeping the netwaves truthful is what Foto Friday is all about.

You have to keep your eyes wide open

SMALL TRUE NOTE:  I almost met Newt Gingrich when I visited DC with my wife several years ago.  He was shooting a video in front of the Lincoln Monument and a mannequin was perched near him.  I later found out it was his third wife.  Everyone was walking up to him to take their picture with him.  I did not have my camera, something I believe was due to his alien power.  Since I didn’t have my camera, I felt it would be stupid to stand next to him and pose for nothing.  It was something I regretted for seven seconds, and then we went and got some pizza.

www.bestbathroombooks.com

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About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at www.bestbathroombooks.com. There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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18 Responses to Foto Friday-Proof of Aliens!

  1. Martia Maven says:

    LOL! This was funny! I have the proof of aliens too at my post “Close encounters of the 3rd kind” 😛

  2. Ha ha! Great post. Along the same theme, I have a post that contains photographic evidence of life on Mars.

  3. Love the photo of Heidi Montag! haha 🙂

  4. Angie Z. says:

    Your last couple lines always end up being my favorite of most of your posts. How do you do that? I think my posts are usually going along fine and then I tend to throw the reader out onto the bare concrete (head first) at the end. Wah-wah. Anyway, aliens are truly among us if people like Newt can be counted as viable presidential candidates. The truth is out there.

  5. Great Angie. Now I’m going to have to read my post and find out what the last lines are. I never feel like you threw me on bare concrete. But that’s because I have an alien pole warmer on my head.

  6. Lori Franks says:

    I thought the proof of aliens in the final picture was of the roundabout sign! Only an alien would design such a circular intersection!

  7. icyhighs says:

    What Lori said. Is that an American thing coz I’ve never seen such circular driving directions. I know I’d never know what to do around that sign.

  8. aFrankAngle says:

    Brilliant humor …. but everyone knows that both the boob pics are just like Special K – real and natural.

  9. speaker7 says:

    You had me at the Special K, and then my head exploded upon viewing that unbelievably sexy picture of the alien Newt Gingrich.

  10. Hold yourself back. He’s already married (although he might have an affair with you if you eat your K).

  11. Elyse says:

    Very funny. I think that there are other aliens too. What about Michelle Bachmann? What about Herman Cain. You know that they are all in the same club.

  12. Thanks Elyse.You know how you have an idea for a youtube video that will go viral if only you had the time, money, camera, casting agent, lights and script? Yeah, those people would be in it for sure.

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