Foto Friday-Butts, Bellies and a Beautiful Bay

Yep, I work for a living.  I had four calls in San Francisco at the International Terminal yesterday.  I started off at SFO (logistical nightmare) and got the guys unloaded and working.  Terrazzo restoration this time if you care. Next stop, the Castro, where I snapped this photo:

Ah, the sweet smell of summer!

Bay to Breakers is this weekend, and these two well-hung gents decided to show the world what God gave ’em.   I was driving and texting and eating and listening to a book on tape about how multitasking is unhealthy, so the picture isn’t perfect–but I did manage to grab my phone, find the camera button and snap this one as a Muni-bus, taxi, three bicyclists and four pedestrians ran interference.

You can (not so) clearly see two naked guys with hats and sunglasses and boots and white socks (okay, you can’t see the boots and white socks, but their feet were safely protected) walking down Market Street.  My father would worry they didn’t put enough sunscreen on their schmeckels, but I’m sure they helped eachother with the Coppertone before they stepped out the door.   Just another day in our glorious City by the Bay.

Then I was in Pac Heights.  If you’re not aware, this is where the rich people live, including Nancy Pelosi,  on the corner of Divisadero and Broadway.  This is a picture of a trucker having a bad day.  What happened?

He forgot that San Francisco is steep, and how long his truck is.  He was heading up Divisadero towards Broadway from the Marina when he bellied out on the hilltop.  This happens from time to time because there are such steep hills in the city and such long trucks in the world.  Whenever I think I’m having a bad day, I think about all the other people in the world and realize there actually is an ultimate bad day for everyone.

If you’re a doctor, your patient may die on the table.  If you’re a porn star, you may find out  that all the ‘roids you took have finally shrunken your balls and rendered your appendage useless–all on film with five people standing around laughing and pointing.  If you’re a blogger, you write a blog like this.  At least this trucker didn’t run over Nancy Pelosi with ‘roid balls while his wife died on the table (she was having surgery that day).

Then I was over on Greenwich off of Hyde.  Sweet spot with a view of Coit Tower and  Alcatraz.  This pic doesn’t do it justice and I should have Photshopped out the wire, but it was a beautiful day.

Look for the cylindrical object at the top of the hill that in no way is suggestive of a useless appendage.

Here’s a pic of the cable car on Hyde:

Once again, driving safely and taking pictures and texting and eating a three course meal of Rice-a-roni

The brakeman (in the yellow jacket) is really working the brake.  If you’ve ever ridden the cable cars, you know how much fun it is with the breeze blowing through your hair and naked people’s scent blowing through your nose.  The brakeman was having a good day.  No one fell off the cable car and got cut in half.

So that was my day.  And now I’m back at work so I threw this together just for you because I know you wanted to see some pictures of SF and hear about my day.

Remember, everyone has a bad day now and then, but if you take off all your clothes and put on sunscreen and walk down the street, you will always feel better.

At least if you live here.

www.bestbathroombooks.com

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About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at www.bestbathroombooks.com. There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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15 Responses to Foto Friday-Butts, Bellies and a Beautiful Bay

  1. El Guapo says:

    Wait – are you implying above that Nancy Pelosi has ‘roid balls?
    So much is clear now…

  2. speaker7 says:

    I love San Francisco mainly because it smells like Rice-a-Roni-covered naked people.

    FYI – stop writing so many blog posts. What’s the countdown at 7? Are you planning on quitting this weekend so you can also walk down Market Street naked and not have to worry about your laptop?

  3. Great idea for my last post. Me jumping up and down naked on my laptop (with Nancy Pelosi and ‘roid balls).

  4. Elyse says:

    What did I miss — I wasn’t getting my posts for a while and you’re leaving. It isn’t that I ddin’t want to read you, Les, it was WORD PRESS. That and the fact that opening posts with the words “Vagina,” “Penis,” and “Porn” are frowned upon in some places where I work …

    But I loved this post. I can’t believe that Nancy Pelosi could do that to a truck just with her eyes. It would make her the most hated woman in American if anyone found out. Oh, wait…

  5. lezile says:

    I will miss how cleverly you use your city, where Tony doesn’t reside, but his heart does, as your muse and your bitch. ((( : ) Love, Lez

  6. Perfect San Francisco Friday! Yes, I capitalized it all.

  7. aFrankAngle says:

    Not sure there’s much better (well, besides being there) than experiencing a SF Friday on a Cincinnati Sunday morning. I think my last time in SF was 4 years ago. Gotta love that city! … and to think this is the first post I’ve ever read with ‘roid balls!

  8. Frank! Yeah, I’ll see you on your next visit. As far as the ‘roid balls go, I guess I’m just a pioneer.
    Thanks for the comment.

  9. GingerSnaap says:

    What? No frontal nudity shots for the ladies to haze upon?

  10. Sorry! I barely got that shot while I was driving. Next time….

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