Don’t take it personally, but you’re not that popular. Well, you are, but only with the people who think like you. And that’s about half of them. Since half the people reading this are already saying “I hate this guy” and clicking off to something they don’t hate, I’ll continue for the readers that are still here.
Thank you for sticking around.
Yep, this is the way it is. Take a look at the National Polls of our two leading presidential candidates. Here’s a perfect example of that even split. America has finally reached the perfect yin/yang of love/hate. It guarantees that very little gets done, also known as our Current Government. I mean, who do you like better?
Since 50% of all people like statistics, I’d like to point out the main reasons you are half-hated:
1) You have a mommy blog
2) You don’t have a mommy blog
3) You blog too much about sex
4) Your blogs don’t have enough sex in them
5) You blog is too high brow
6) Your blog is too low brow
7) You post all those stupid recipes
8) You don’t post enough recipes and I love food
9) Your blog isn’t funny
10) Your blog is so funny I forgot to laugh
11) Etc., etc., you can see where this is going because you’re the smart half of the bloggers/readers out there.
My Dad used to say, “There are two kinds of people: The kind of people who think there are two kinds of people, and the kind that don’t.” I think he captured it perfectly. No two people can agree on everything. I mean, look at Tom Cruise.
Let’s take another simple example. Recently, Jennifer Aniston was voted “The Hottest Woman of All Time”. It’s comforting to know that the editors of Men’s Health weren’t over-reaching here, because they did not include other galaxies or alternate universes, only our little blue planet– and only since the Beginning of Time.
So, according to Men’s Health Magazine, Jennifer Aniston is the sexiest person to ever walk the earth. Ever.
Anyone out there disagree?
Wow, this is kind of embarrassing. It’s the first time this has ever happened.
Once, when I was in a therapy session with my family (I would explain this to you but you might hate me) I asked the therapist:
“Why is it that sometimes I feel like, immediately upon meeting someone, they hate me?”
The therapist nodded, puffed on his pipe and stroked his beard and then said thoughtfully,
“Because you’re an asshole?”
Okay, he didn’t say that (he was only thinking it). He said,
“People commonly associate an individual visually with someone who has caused them harm in the past, either consciously or subconsciously. This may produce a Pavlovian response to your visage.”
“Are you,” I said, with some indignation, “referring to when I punched you in the mouth at lunch today?”
Kidding. It was an accidental elbow to his groin.
Earlier in my musical career, I was in a band in LA with a bunch of black dudes (Hi Geno). I was the only white guy. It was very easy to pick me out when we took photos because I was the drummer, and drummers always look different.
Anyway, we’d play at nightclubs in Inglewood and I would be the only white guy in the room. Honestly, sometimes I think I was the only white guy within a five mile radius. Sometimes there were people at the nightclub who didn’t like me. Before I got the sh*t beat out of me, my bandmates would explain who I was. I had to comfort myself in the knowledge that it wasn’t me.
It was my stupid white skin.
So this is how it goes.
Sometimes people have belief systems that don’t support your presence or input. Don’t worry about it. Half the people exposed to you may hate you for no good reason, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of people out there who think you’re a pretty funky drummer.
Another musician, John Mayer (I know, half of you can’t stand him) wrote a song called Belief with these lyrics:
We’re never gonna win the world
We’re never gonna stop the war
We’re never gonna beat this
If belief is what we’re fighting for
The entire lyrics to this song are amazing (even if you can’t stand John Mayer). If you don’t want to listen to the song, take 30 seconds and Google the lyrics. Amazing.
People have ingrained belief systems, just as they have preferences for who the hottest sexual partner is. John Mayer used to date Jennifer Aniston (and thought she was the hottest thing on the planet), but now she hates him.
The point is, trying to change someone else’s beliefs almost never works. The only thing you can do is build on the beliefs you have in common. This will help them to hate you less, and vice versa.
So there are minds that can’t be changed. You can yell as loud as you want to. You can write blogs about how stupid everyone else is. But half the people won’t agree with you no matter what.
You have every right to express yourself. Even if half the people hate your guts.
So let’s be happy there are people out there who do like you. I mean, I like you. In fact, I love you.
Hell, I’d be you if I could.
But I have to be me and sometimes I hate myself for it.
About half the time.