As most of you know, besides my incredibly successful blog bestbathroombooks, I work for WordPress. They hire me from time to time to show other bloggers that writing a blog is easy, fun and not a complete waste of their lives. I think we can all agree I’ve done a spectacular job.
Well, actually, too good a job. The WordPress servers are overloaded with bloggers. WordPress executives are depressed. So they hired me again. This time they asked me to write a few demotivational posters, and, because the money is ridiculous (I’ve already retired six times off of this blog and WordPress fees), I said I would help.
There’s nothing that breaks my heart more than depressed multi-millionaires. So here are ten posters that will live on in cyber-space forever and help WordPress stay afloat. I hope they demotivate enough bloggers so that you—the important ones–can keep blogging forever.
Love always,
bbb
bestbathroombooks 
Brilliant. But if I inspired the first one I will be most annoyed!
I’m feeling so demotivated, I might go to work on Monday.
Ha! Not at all. You write a great blog, and I didn’t even think about that. Oops!
Oh my God. The posters worked.
I was just joking. One cannot write a post about poop and then suddenly be embarrassed to, umm, poop!
This actually makes me want to blog more–and get a dog. Can a dog really type without the use of thumbs? Awesome. I want to be hired by WordPress to out-ass that ass in the poster. I know I can do it, if just given the chance.
Yes, a dog can type. I’ve read several blogs by dogs. And WordPress does hire bloggers with potentially large asses to be spokesasses for the company. Your ass must grow at least 35% in a year of blogging or you don’t get paid.
From One of your many Biggest Fans, this Bloggee thanks you for this and your past 90-ish posts, which have had mainly excellent effects on my psyche and achin’ belly (from laughing so hard). That and appreciate the treasure trove map of the fine blogs of my future, Les! Love, Lez ((( : )
Thanks, Lez. I think you should start a blog. It’s a great way to find yourself, if by “finding yourself” I mean wasting lots of time.
I am motivated to be de
Thats…..good?
More proof that you are a blogging rock star …. meanwhile back to my meager little corner … thanks for letting me hang around.
Frank! Yeah, I’m a rock star in an empty stadium. Your blog is the cream. When I see a need I fill it, and I Googled demotivational posters for bloggers and saw there was hardly anything on this subject.
I take that as a challenge!
Hey, that cole slaw recipe ROCKED!
Silly old WP millionaires.
Wait, is the Tatyana? I have a borscht recipe that’s to die for.
I love them all, but that last one really cracked me up!
That means it hit close to home. Get off of that keyboard and start kissing someone.
My ass is unfirmer, I no longer breastfeed that guy who convinced me he was a baby, and my sex life is nonexistent. It sounds like I’m a successful blogger!
Haha, this is so hilarious! I want to spank you three times, BBB. But you are miles away and there’s the chance (slim) that you’re older than me and you are a respectable person during daytime, haha. ^^
But you tell me, how can I get back at you for this kind of mischief, huh? You’re some kinda… I wish we’d both stay a long time in the blogosphere so I could do a satire post about you blasting every blogger you’ve come across. Be afraid, be very… 😉
Reblogged this on 35andupcynicismonhold and commented:
Well, I barely know this guy… But at the rate he’s bashing and blasting every blogger (well, almost), I might as well echo some of his mischievous words and try the reblogging feature of WordPress. He prides himself on toilet humor but has got most people laughing their asses off, in the and on the way out of the bathroom, haha. Claims he’s from the low end of the spectrum. Now, what does that make us, huh? He’s some kinda… Here’s BBB. Have a good laugh, folks! Cheers. 😉
Hey, 35. I deserve spanking. It helps motivate me to write more demotivational posters. Thanks for reblogging this post. I’m pretty sure it’s going to light the blogging world on fire–and that’s what WP pays me for.
bbb
No problem. My stats just went up and a few have already thanked me for showing them the way to the bathroom. 😉
now I’m going to shoot myself. and I will plead for excuse: “sorry for all the mess, and so” 😀
My husband doesn’t tell me how cute my gravatar is like my fellow bloggers do. See? I need fellow bloggers to convince me that I was never horribly awkward and unlovable.
Husbands can be just so soopit sometimes.
As long as he doesn’t look like the guy in that last pic, you’re doing fine!
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