If you haven’t noticed already, I love the American Marketing Machine. I find it endlessly fascinating that there is a focus group out there calculating how to get inside our heads and make us want what they have. Below are nine different photos for ED drugs. Let’s examine each photo and see if we can learn anything about America and ourselves. I promise it will be fun, and by the end, only 37% of you will look like the guys in these pictures.
1) This woman looks frustrated. I can’t figure out what the floating bowl of Top Ramen is doing in front of the guy’s face. That would be frustrating for anybody.
2) This woman just looks disappointed. Maybe because the guy is wearing matching black ninja shirt and underwear. I heard that the fibers of black shirts and underwear can cause you to strike the classic “I’m Thinking” pose, which everyone knows turns women off.
3) This marketing firm decided to go black and white. I can’t tell if this guy is white or black, but it looks like he has peroxided his hair. I’ve heard this isn’t good for the old love muscle, so maybe he should just lay off the peroxide. The woman looks concerned, almost helpful, but she may just be checking out his dark roots.
4) It seems like having your “head in your hand” so to speak, is the classic ED pose. Somehow, the angle of this picture does not indicate the guy is having any trouble in that department, unless that’s his arm? The woman looks asleep, so she’s probably having a nice dream. Is that a baby’s head sticking out of the sheet next to her? Get that baby out of there please.
5) Holy Crap! This chick is seriously pissed. So pissed, in fact, that she is seeing red, or at least, blurry. I kind of don’t blame this guy too much, because this chick is angry. She has her arms folded. Classic body language.
6) Okay, the company that did this one is off course. Everyone knows that staring at it will do nothing. In fact, I think it might make it worse. They need to go back to the drawing board on this one, thank you very much.
7) This is the classic “Argument” position. I don’t know if they are having sexual problems or they are mad about who’s doing the laundry. They both look equally sick of each other, so I think one of them should just move out. Marketing Grade C-
VIII) Whoa, Dude. It’s ED, not End of Days. Get ahold of yourself. It looks like you’ve got a friend, even if her hand has the pallor of a six-day-dead corpse. Wow. Maybe it is End of Days.
9) Yeah, this last one just seems mean. The guy’s like “Hey, Little Guy, yes, I’m talking to you. Haven’t we been through a lot together?” while in the foreground the woman is getting all Roger Ebert on him.
I think they need to go down to Applebee’s and have a few drinks, then come back and stay up all night. We need this by morning.