X-ray with knife

Is it time to start laughing?

Remember when Aunt Phyliss slipped on the stairs and broke her leg?  It was raining potato salad!  Man, you should have seen the look on her face when she was going down!

Now that was funny.

Aunt Phyliss was not laughing that hard when her tibia snapped like a wishbone.  You actually remember her howling pretty loud right before everything got white and you passed out and smashed your mouth full-square on the banister.  You looked like a jack-o-lantern before the fake teeth.  Too bad we didn’t get that on video.  Now that would have been gold. Pure gold!

Okay, you get the idea.

You will say these words while you’re driving your kids to the emergency room.

You will tell them this while they are crying.  They will curse you.  You will want to take it back.

But you won’t.

Because it’s true.

You will tell them this when your daughter’s dress rips and everyone sees her My Little Pony underwear.  You will tell your son this when his girlfriend stiffs him at the prom and crushes his heart like a beetle.  You will tell them this when you are running red lights and they are bleeding on your car seat.

Someday, you will say, we will all look back and laugh.

And it will be funny.

Just not right now.

About bestbathroombooks

I run a small publishing company and am presently seeking the funniest, coolest and most marketable ideas to sell in places like Urban Outfitters, Papyrus, college bookstores and independent bookstores in the Humor Sections. Contact me through this blog or better at There are some talented people out there writing good, funny, conceptual books and blogging some funny stuff. I wish I had time to read more and write more. I have a day gig and do a lot of other things, but blogging helps me stay connected to my laptop and ensures sterility (due to EMF on my testicles) which is great because I've had enough kids. Les
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5 Responses to Pain+Time=Humor

  1. speaker7 says:

    The title reminds me of Alan Alda’s character in “Crimes & Misdemeanors”

  2. Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful info particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was looking for this certain information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

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