Remember when Aunt Phyliss slipped on the stairs and broke her leg? It was raining potato salad! Man, you should have seen the look on her face when she was going down!
Now that was funny.
Aunt Phyliss was not laughing that hard when her tibia snapped like a wishbone. You actually remember her howling pretty loud right before everything got white and you passed out and smashed your mouth full-square on the banister. You looked like a jack-o-lantern before the fake teeth. Too bad we didn’t get that on video. Now that would have been gold. Pure gold!
Okay, you get the idea.
You will say these words while you’re driving your kids to the emergency room.
You will tell them this while they are crying. They will curse you. You will want to take it back.
But you won’t.
Because it’s true.
You will tell them this when your daughter’s dress rips and everyone sees her My Little Pony underwear. You will tell your son this when his girlfriend stiffs him at the prom and crushes his heart like a beetle. You will tell them this when you are running red lights and they are bleeding on your car seat.
Someday, you will say, we will all look back and laugh.
And it will be funny.
Just not right now.